One sided friendships

I just want to put this down in writing - I am through with one sided friendships. I am not sure what it is in my personality that makes me this way, but I feel obliged to nurture a relationship. I value my friends, and the memories that go along with them. So, why is it that it seems so often I am the only one doing this?

Just for the record, I am not going to nurture and value a friendshiop on my own. I am so tired of placing my trust and value in a friendship when the other person doesn't. If we are acquaintances, thats fine too. But then say that, don't 'neeeeed me' when you need me and then disappear when you don't.

I want to say here that I am not the type of friend that needs to talk to you daily, weekly or even monthly. My closest friends know that. I like to catch up with my friends when they have time. Just like me, they have jobs and families and are very busy at times. But I want to know what is going on with you, not just continually call, email and text you to get no response whatsoever. On a side note, I realize that people go through times that they are super-ridiculously busy, or have something new in their lives and need time. I am not talking about that either, I understand that. I do that too!

So, if I call and leave you a message, at least text me back and say that you got it, and that you'll call me when you get a minute. Send me a card at Christmas!

Let me just put it this way; I am no longer going out of my way for people who wouldn't go out of their way for me. I am not calling if you don't return phone calls. I am not going to nurture our friendship for the sake of the friendship. I have enough friends that I don't need to do that.

I had a friend, who I thought was one of my best friends, ost because I didn't continue to track her butt down, call her, email her, text her every few months. Sadly, when I stopped, so did our friendship. She has seen Madelyn once, and probably doesn't even know I have Lauren. It disgusts me because she continued a sharade of a 'best friend' for so long, that I feel a loss. Unfortunately, I don't think she does.

So, at this point, I have to value my pride and my time more than the friendships. If these people truly cared about me, they would be in my life.

Nuff said about that!

Spoke too soon...

Well, I guess I jumped the gun on the 'all on the mend' call from yesterday! Mike had to work daylight today, so I woke up to Maddie's usually knock, knock on her door to let me know she is up. I sat up and hollered for her to come on in and climb in bed with me (we snuggle while I wake up). . . . Nothing! I holler again, trying not to awaken the other bug. . . . Nothing!

So, I get up and go to her door, I turn the knob, open the door, and it hits her. She is laying on the floor. I said, "what's wrong baby?" and she said, "I need a drink of water".

I get her a drink and she climbs in my bed, and is just about asleep when the little bug wakes up (figures, right?). So, we all get up and come into the living room. She climbs on the couch and asks for a pillow and blanket and her cow!?! I felt her head, and she seemed ok, just very tired and lethargic. I asked her if she wanted waffles and she said sure... so I thought that she must just still be tired.

We have breakfast, and the morning progresses and she still doesn't wake up, doesn't want to play, just wants to lay on the couch and watch the super sleuths.

I had some laundry to fold, so I went into our bedroom and I turn around and she is laying on the floor outside my door! I asked her repeatedly if she felt ok, and her response continued to be, "Can I hold you, mommy?" - well, of course she could :( She had no fever, thank goodness.

She took a nap about 1pm and woke about 4pm - and she seemed to have a little hop in her step then. So maybe she was just tired, who knows.

We are still having the poop issues - I have to call the doc tomorrow. This seems to be dragging on a little long for my liking. I know she has an appointment coming up, but I can't watch her struggle the way she does. Plus its only putting a stigma for her on pooping on the potty... which I can't have - she is so close to being potty trained. I don't want her to regress because of this.

So, anywho the Giants won the Superbowl - whoo hooo! Well, I guess if it couldn't be the Steelers, the Giants will do. Plaxico got the game winning TD - hmmm. Not sure how I feel about that. He did shed a few tears during the post-game. So as a chick, I gotta appreciate the fact that he was sentimental about it and didn't mind showing it. We'll just say he earned a couple points back in my tally book - but he has some serious deficits to overcome before he can get back in my good graces.

Either way, I definitely didn't want to see Tom Brady up there getting that trophy AGAIN! I just don't like him. I don't know why... I just don't. Not to mention that I think the NFL swept the entire 'cheating' incident under the rug, why? Thats what I want to know... I hope Congress does decide to do some investigation as to why the NFL decided destroying evidence would be ok in this case. That doesn't even begin to touch on my feelings about this - why was the NFL so quick to be like 'its over.... we penalized the guilty - now move on' - uh, not really. And for them to say that the Pat's had no real advantage - well thats bullshit too! If there was no real advantage, they wouldn't have been penalized at all. They just didn't want any additional negative publicity for the NFL, especially after the barrage of bad press players and teams have been getting lately (i.e. the bagillion pending lawsuits and criminal charges against NFL players). I think the entire Cincinnati Bengals team is on parole, probation, doing community service or awaiting trials for one thing or another. Ah, but I digress....

If it couldn't be the Steelers... I am ok with the Giants.

By the way - the Steelers were voted, by the fans, the best decade dynasty for the 1970's team led by Terry Bradshaw... so put that in your pipe and smoke it :)

Here is a layout I did tonite using Karla's Kaleidoscope Designs' Heartfelts. There are 20 hearts in the kit, and they are so realistic. Really fun to use :) I love this layout. I was able to make my own alpha using a paper from Karla's Cupids Crush kit - then I used a painted wood action from atomic cupcake on it.

Potty training is a B****!

ATTENTION: THIS BLOG MAY CONTAIN A LITTLE TMI REGARDING THE POTTY TRAINING OF A TWO AND A HALF YEAR OLD.

Normally I wouldn't have starred out the rest of that word... but it is in the title! So, I have been potty training Madelyn for about three months now. For the most part, she gets it. But about a month ago she started having some constipation/hard stool issues where it really hurt her to go. So, now that it has been resolved, she is still a little nervous about pooping - I guess because she is afraid its going to hurt again. Poor girl.

Well, I am sick to death of buying pull-ups. I want this girl in them only when she sleeps, so this morning... I asked her if she was ready to try the big girl underwear, and she said yes.

So far, so good... no accidents all morning and now she is napping.

Potty training is kicking my ass, and this has been the toughest thing I have had to do since becoming a parent ! Any advice from a 'been there done that' is welcomed!

Some stuff........

Well, I have been asked to be on Amy Leigh's CT on a three month rotation. I am super stoked about that. So I have been scrapping away for my favorite designers all week, hence no posting.

I will get better about that. Unfortunately, other than scrapping, I have been kind of down in the dumps lately. I don't know the whole reason why, I would love to blame it on PMS (which it could be), but I don't think so.

Man, right now... I weigh a ridiculous amount that I am not even willing to put on this blog. I have NEVER been this heavy (except pregnant... and I am not pregnant!). I put on a good front, but I think its because I feel like I am letting 'myself' go a little. I don't mean I don't care about my appearance or anything like that, because I do. I mean, everything I do right now is for my girls and my family. I don't have much that is just 'mine'. I don't really mind, but I guess in a way I feel a little sad about it.

In the meantime, all my girls from school are moving up and their careers are on track. Mine, well, its on hold a little. And I should tell you, that it is my choice that its on hold. I do want to be home with my girls, I do like subbing so that I have more time with them. I don't want to put them in daycare or burden Mike, his family and my family with watching them everyday.

I guess I am just confused; I don't really know what I want. Maybe I just put on a front of being so together and organized and busy, and in reality I am just falling apart inside a little.

Oh well, moving on to lighter topics. Here are some scrap pages I have worked on the last few days.

The first one is a scraplift from my friend in Alaska who has a daughter the same age as Madelyn. We met on a message board for pregnant women due in May 2005. She was the first one who got me interested in digi-scrapping. She did a kind of YEAR IN REVIEW page, and I totally stole the idea.

I used Doreen Stolz and Verena Karolyi's Fabulous Days kit. Available at GDS.

Second, is my first layout for Amy Leigh Fennell. I used her Crazy Kids kit! I love the colors. Also available at GDS.

Next, I used a new kit by Beckie Wallace called First Flight to make this layout. I never scrap with blues. I don't know why (hmm... could be because I have two girls!). But I had a great time with this one.

A pet peeve of mine....

Ok, my husband and I both have credit cards with a 'company whose name we will never say'. Both have zero balances, but we like to keep them in case of emergencies (like xbox 360 emergencies/spa or massage emergencies - you know that kind of emergency).

So, we frequently get calls from this 'C W N W W N S' and they want us to purchase this or that insurance, or this or that service that will automatically be billed to our card yearly! We don't need it so we always say no.

We started out by saying no politely... but now we are just jerks about it.

To add insult to injury, they now, apparently have these call centers located in some foreign country where they speak broken english.

PET PEEVE ALERT: I can not stand someone to call me who doesn't speak English!

Now, that is not the worst of it.... if you do call me and are trying to sell me X, Y, Z AND you don't speak English, don't tell me your name is JUSTIN or FRED or THOMAS! It freakin is not ! Do you think I am that stupid? Do you think that will make me want to buy your bullshit? It doesn't, actually it makes me want to make you feel like an idiot.

Typically, I lure them into some converstation, egging them on and acting like I might buy their shit and then, I start talking really fast (they can't keep up) or use words they never learned (that catches them off-guard).

But now that this has gone on for a few months, I am bored of it. Now, I am just plain ol' mean and nasty to them.

Especially when I answer the phone and there is a long ass pause..... (computer connecting), then I hear in a thick ass accent, "Michael?" - no, idiot, I am a female; I answered the phone with my female voice! So I scream back "NO!", then they usually say, "Is Michael there?" to which I scream again, "NO!" ... they just get all flustered and hang up!

Damn, I hate that!